On Cloud Nine
by Ginger-Snapp
Summary: A story about life. One shot - for now.


Numair couldn't tell which part was worse, whether is was the days of catatonic silence, the unceasing tears, the uncontrollable anger or the months of grief that followed. If he really had to pin it down, it would have to be the first hour or so.

Daine was going out riding with Numair that morning, but she'd been unable to sleep and rose near dawn. She wanted to talk with cloud, maybe walk her around for while. She and the mare had both agreed about six years ago that she should start using a younger horse (and there had been plenty of volunteers) when a big Big Cold came, and Cloud just wasn't up for the job. The average life span of a horse was about twenty five years, and Cloud was well past that anyway. It had given Daine a pang to ride without her on long trips, to feel the emptiness in her life without the horse constantly by her side and in her mind. Cloud dealt with it in a no-nonsense sort of way. She'd been wanting to settle down before that, but the Wildmage simply hadn't let her.

So Daine kept as close to her as possible, though she got into a lot more trouble without the mare. It was a chilly day and dew clung to Daine's coat. Cloud wasn't in the stables, though the horses were slightly skittish. She asked them silently what was going on, and they informed her that Cloud hadn't been seen that night. From her own knowledge, cloud wasn't anywhere within ten miles, but she tried calling anyway.

_CLOUD! _Silence. She blocked out all the other animals and tried again. Silence. Forming a solid concentration on her horse, Daine screamed for her horse. Nearly every other animal in the castle answered her, but not Cloud. Fear crept into her body. She was shaking slightly, despite her thick coat. Tahoi came out to her, startled by her call, and asked what was wrong.

_Clouds gone_, replied Daine. _Track her for me? _

What about the sitting thing?

_I can't sense her. _

The dog got to work, and followed the sent through several pastures, in which Daine followed. Worry was her primary emotion, a worry that with each step seemed to embed itself deep within her. Long gone were thoughts of her morning ride with Numair. She hadn't a second thought for her husband who must still be asleep, since he rarely woke up with out her. And then Tahoi froze, sniffing.

_You smell her? _

He looked at her with mournful eyes. Yes.

Daine almost asked what was wrong, but then a large shape came into her field of vision on the next pasture over. It was lying down, unmoving. And was roughly the shape of a horse. She ran her eyes wide with shock and a fear so great that it would have burst the heart of several smaller animals. It was about to burst her heart as well Tears were streaming down her eyes, and bewilderment was filling her every pore, along with a deep sense of being utterly lost.

It was Cloud. Her beautiful Cloud, eyes closed peacefully. She could have been sleeping. Except she wasn't. Daine let out a scream so startlingly horrible, that Tahoi ran, terrified. Anguish. That was the only thing left inside her. Daine screamed continually inbetween horrible sobs wracking her body, and draped herself over Cloud. Or rather, Cloud's remains.

It was horrible. Numair woke up to the sound of thousands of animals wailing at the top of their lungs. He knew instantly something was wrong, and stumbled blindly outside, still in his pajamas. He wasn't the only one. It Alanna and Onua were already outside, and they turned towards him. He didn't bother asking, just started to run forward in the direction of those horrible screams. Daine's screams. He wondered if someone was torturing her, and thought wildly of Ozorne, though common sense told him he was dead. A horrible fear was set deep within him as he ran, flanked by a crowd of Daine's closest and most powerful friends. John, still in pajamas and Thayet with her make-up half applied. And then he saw it.

Daine was laying over Cloud, who wasn't moving. Numair stopped dead, and a crowd of people ran into him. He felt like screaming himself, and now totally understood what was wrong. His fear did not dispel, but rather just changed. Still a fear for Daine, but of a different sort. Fear of mental pain, not physical.

Death was never easy, but Daine had been learning to handle it. Around her mid thirties a lot of her animal friends had started dying, and it had been very hard on her. They just didn't last as long as people, even with her healing magic to help. The last time someone she cared deeply about had died, it had been him. She had risen the dead, destroyed an entire country and insulted the gods. Somewhere behind a thick wall of pity, grief and concern lay a curiosity of what would happen now. If she was like that after two years with him, what would happen now that she had lost her life long friend and the only remaining family to her? What happened when you lost the one who has been through everything with you?

_You lose it, _something inside him whispered. _You lose it, and then you give up._

Yes, the first hour had been the worst. When they tried to move Daine, she screamed at them kicking an yelling. She'd given Alanna a black eye and put several deep fingernail furrows in Numairs neck when he tried to hold her. For the first time in his life, he actually feared for her sanity. If he got close enough to check, he honestly wouldn't have been sure if the magical wall keeping her humanity inside her would still be intact.

Finally, Alanna put her in a magical sleep. She'd had to, just to be able to get near her and stop her incessant screaming. As he carried her back to the castle, Numair gazed down at her decidedly not peaceful sleep and wondered if this is what would happen to him if by some horror, Daine were to die before him.

_AN: This piece is dedicated to Loten, an excellent writer.  
_


End file.
